The Silent Force
by BrD
Summary: Sara is scared that her relationship will end the same way as her parents' relationship ended. I wrote this fic while listening to Within Temptation's CD 'The Silent Force', I will continue writing to the songs of TSF. R R. Rated T for future chapters.


Okay, so I don't own anything. I don't own CSI, I don't own Within Temptation. I do own their CDs and I do own my own imagination. Read and comment please. Criticism is welcome too, don't be harsh. I'm a beginning writer, and I'm not a native speaker. Enjoy. )

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"...come on Sara, you know it wasn't my intention to..."

"It's too late Grissom, don't you understand? You've had your chances, and you blew every single one of them! I'm so tired of trying!"

Grissom saw the pain in her eyes, but he didn't know what to do. Sara was afraid to look at him, afraid to drown in his bright blue eyes.

"Why don't you accept my help? I know I can help you Sara. Why does this have to happen? We were happy and..."

"You said exactly the right thing, we _were _happy. I'm afraid to be happy again, because...I don't think I can be after everything that's happened." She turned her head and her tear bright eyes looked in silent entreaty into Grissoms. Grissom stepped closer to her, closing the gap between them.

Sara could feel the tension between them and she wanted it to stop, but something kept her from stopping it. Grissom brought up her face to meet his and he stroke her hair calmly. "I'm always here for you honey, please let me be here for you.." he whispered softly. Sara started crying silently as she heard his worried voice.

"Don't even go there. You think you love me, but when you know who I really am, you won't love me anymore." She said through her tears.

_Is it true what they say,  
are we too blind to find a way?  
Fear of the unknown cloud our hearts today.  
Come into my world,  
see through my eyes.  
Try to understand,  
don't want to lose what we have._

Sara lay on her bed, curled into a ball, her brown hair draped over the blankets. Nobody knew what was going on inside of her, she wasn't even sure if she knew what was going on inside of her. She rolled off the bed and landed among boxes full of all her possessions and memories. She stood up and walked to the dresser. She hated those memories, for leaving her behind. She stared at her reflection, gazing deep into her own dark eyes. She remembered where she got those eyes. Her heart considered crying, but her eyes couldn't't take that again. Instead she drew back a fist and punched the image of herself. The mirror shattered.

_We've been dreaming  
but who can deny,  
it's the best way of living  
between the truth and the lies._

Grissom felt devastated after Sara left him the other night. He had never intended to hurt her feelings or to make their relationship worse, but he realized that was exactly what happened last night. Normally his office would have felt like home, right now it didn't. It felt cold and lonely without Sara, his Sara. He had gotten used to her presence, when she was with him happiness filled the air. Now emptiness was all he could see.

The door opened, Sara walked in. Grissom looked up to her. Her eyes had a sadness that was so deep, and not meant for her. "Grissom," she said, her eyes gazing at him, "there are some things I need to tell you"

_See who I am,  
break through the surface.  
Reach for my hand,  
let's show them that we can  
free our minds and find a way.  
The world is in our hands,  
this is not the end._

To say that she felt guilty was a bit of an understatement. She couldn't even look Grissom in the eye, or even be in the same room with him alone, which was definitely a problem, since they practically shared his house together. She should drive to his house to pick up her belongings which were still at Grissom's. Afraid to run into him she decided to let her stuff where it was. She wished she was different, she wanted to change herself. Change herself into a stronger person, a person without fears, without regrets. If that only was possible.

Grissom couldn't believe what he had just heard. Sara had completely opened up to him and told him her exact feelings without any doubt. He was shocked by what he was told and Sara seemed broken. Silence reigned in the office for a few minutes, and guilt continued to gnaw at Sara. She began sliding an empty can around the table to keep her hands busy. After a minute or two of this, Grissom sighed, "Could you quit that?"

And for some reason, that caused Sara to blurt out, "I love you, but I'm afraid for what I could do to you!" A raised eyebrow, and a, "…but how?" was all she got.

"How? Come on Griss, you know how. I've told you my past, or have you forgotten that already?"

_Fear is withering the soul  
at the point of no return.  
We must be the change  
we wish to see.  
I'll come into your world,  
see through your eyes.  
I'll try to understand,  
before we lose what we have._

As days went by they began to lose each other, it felt like water slipping through their fingers. They filled their days with avoiding each other and trying to forget the time they had spent together, but it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy at all.

_We just can't stop believing  
cause we have to try.  
We can rise above  
Their truth and their lies.  
_


End file.
